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The Unlooked-for Blessing of Being around the Death of Others
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Mary Bonner, one of my sisters, is very close to death as I write these words. No, I did not use a euphuism, “near the end of her earthly pilgrimage,” or some such. Mary had no time for calling death something other than what it is. Her hospice bed is in the living room of her house, and her children are providing superb care, along with the hospice nurses. This morning her breathing changed and ability to speak diminished. Her children and grandchildren are with her, in person and in the case of a geographically distant family, by phone. I would not be surprised if she passes before this draft is posted on the web.
Jason, one of her sons, reported on her condition, and added a paragraph, which I quote with his permission:
Continue readingMom regularly visited Marj Dolan, a widow from church who was living in a nursing home. Mom would visit her faithfully once a week, I would visit somewhat often as her ”computer tech guy.” Marj was loved by our family and by our church, but in 2019 she had a stroke and quickly moved into hospice care. Mom invited her to spend her last days of life at our house, so she could be cared for by people who loved her. She moved into the guest room. Hospice was in and out, and Mom along with us kids took care of her. Mom showed her love and care in those final days of her life, those days in which you are completely helpless and at the mercy of those around you. The unlooked-for blessing of being around the death of others is much more clear now, but those experiences have helped prepare me and my siblings for the inevitable death we would have in our future.
What About Matthew 18?
This article, which appeared originally on the Presbyterian Advocacy Coalition site, is reproduced here with permission. A PDF copy can be downloaded here.
What About Matthew 18?1
The Use and Misuse of Jesus’ Command
Jesus, in Matthew 18:15–17, gives you instructions on how to handle serious conflict with a fellow believer. If your brother sins against you, go to him and show him his fault. The goal is to win your brother over. Should that fail, take two or three witnesses. If that fails, take it to the church. (In the Orthodox Presbyterian Church [OPC], in which I serve as a pastor, we have a formal judicial process outlined in the Book of Discipline to help carry that out properly.)
Not every perceived offense ought to trigger the process of Matthew 18. Many offenses can simply be forgiven and passed over in grace. Remember that Jesus did say something about removing the plank from your own eye before searching for the speck in someone else’s. But something that is serious between brothers and sisters, something that interferes with fellowship, something that really needs correcting, can and should prompt us to go to the other party.
Continue readingWho Am I?
Grounded in Grace: Helping Kids Build Their Identity in Christ by Jonathan D. Holmes. New Growth Press, 2024. Paperback, 120 pages, $16.99.
“Who am I?” How can parents (and grandparents) help their growing children who are dealing, or will have to deal, with that question? Holmes suggests, “Our children are under enormous pressure to figure out who they are in an environment and culture that is sending them conflicting messages.” (3) The author hopes to help, not only parents, but also others who interact with children.
Traditionally, children found their identity by following in their parents’ footsteps and achieving approval from them and other adults. Boys might often follow in their father’s trade, while the goal of girls would be to become a loving and submissive wife. More recently in our culture, “the determiner of identity has moved from something outside of you to something inside of you.” (7) Your inner voice is crucial.
Continue readingSunday Evening Musings
It can be dangerous for a pastor to start musing, particularly with a keyboard under his fingers, on a Sunday evening. I don’t trust my own brain after preaching twice, so feel free to use your delete button now or at any point that I start to ramble.
Currently I’m working through the Book of Psalms on Sunday evenings, not covering every Psalm, but preaching on many of them. Usually it is one Psalm per Sunday evening. But tonight I preached on Psalms 127 and 128 together — they do have interwoven themes and language. Although I don’t usually follow the Hallmark liturgical calendar, in the past I have preached on one of them on Mothers Day and the other on Fathers Day with the hope that a biblical, redemptive message on the family might be better than the sentimentality often served up on those occasions. But this time I was preaching on them simply because the previous Sunday evening message was on Psalm 126 (lectio continua does shorten the time spent looking for a text).
Continue reading“You Are Still a Mother”
“I’m sorry. There is no heartbeat.” One week away from her due date, Jackie Gibson and her husband, Jonny, heard those words cut through the silence of the room in the hospital. Their daughter, Leila, died before she was born. In You Are Still a Mother,[1] Jackie Gibson quotes those crushing words several times as she chronicles navigating her grief.
The Gibsons know, and knew at the time of Leila’s death, the Good Shepherd, the Man of Sorrows, who knows our grief and suffering. He, his person and work, form the basis for the hope mentioned in the subtitle. Yet the book is utterly honest. There is no shortcut through grief. It continues. Jackie writes:
I am not the same person I was before Leila died. The trauma of my devastating loss has etched itself onto my heart and body. Grief has taken up residence in my heart and is now my companion for life. Sometimes its presence is loud and clanging, and other times it is tucked away and so quiet that I forget for a moment that it is there. But grief is there. And whenever I feel that pang in my heart, I remember that Leila’s death has changed me. (54)
Wisely she wishes that debriefing in the hospital had included information about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Continue readingThe Use and Abuse of ‘Superiors, Inferiors, or Equals’
What Don’t the Westminster Catechisms Say?
“The Westminster Shorter Catechism speaks of the husband as superior to the wife, and of lay people as inferior to their leaders” state Michael Foster and Dominic Bnonn Tennant in their popular book, It’s Good To Be a Man.[1] Prior to reviewing the book, when I suggested to one of the authors that the Shorter Catechism lacks that statement,[2] I was told that the intended reference is to the Larger Catechism and that the correction will be made. However, as I pointed out in my review, while Q. 64 speaks of “preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to every one in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals” (and Q. 123–133 of the Larger Catechism use similar language), neither those answers, nor any others in the catechisms describe “the husband as superior to the wife” or “lay people as inferior to their leaders.”[3] Messrs. Foster and Tennant appear to be appealing to the catechetical language of “superiors, inferiors, or equals” to support their view of the inferiority of wives and of those holding the general office of believer, although, since neither catechism states what they suggest, their argument lies somewhere on the spectrum between sloppy writing and improper use of sources.
While the example above is blatant, one does not have to spend extended time on social media to realize that those authors are not alone in seeing the phrase in the catechisms as supporting the view that husbands are superior to their wives, or even that women are ontologically inferior to men. Is that a proper use of the Westminster Catechisms? Or is it a misuse, possibly even an abuse, of those standards?
Catechisms, a glance at history
Why do the Westminster Larger and Shorter Catechisms use the language of “superiors, inferiors, or equals” with reference to the Fifth Commandment, particularly when some earlier catechisms of the Reformation did not?
Continue readingWhen Shepherds Harm the Sheep
In the church of Jesus Christ, those serving under the Good Shepherd have the responsibility of protecting the flock entrusted to their care. For pastors and other leaders to harm the sheep ought to be unthinkable — but it happens. Equally tragic is the fact that too often fellow officers in the church fail to take action to protect the sheep.
Michael J. Kruger, President of Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte, NC, is well known for his academic work on early church history and the formation of the canon. He recently authored Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church.
This post is not a book review. An excellent review can be found here (p. 20). Rather, this gathers some thoughts used as I discussed the book with some fellow pastors a few weeks ago.
Continue readingGrace and Truth for Life
Grace and Truth for Life: Charles H. Spurgeon’s devotionals from his 1865 classic, Morning by Morning, paraphrased, updated, and adapted for following Jesus in the 21st century, by Larry E. Wilson, 2023, paper, 368 pages (available from Amazon here, $US 9.99)
For a number of years I received regular emails from my fellow pastor, Larry Wilson, with the slightly cryptic subject line. “G&T4L.” To help him concentrate on his own devotional reading (beyond the Scriptures themselves) he was working through Spurgeon’s daily devotional, Morning by Morning, doing exactly what the lengthy subtitle of this book suggests — making a well-loved classic more accessible for contemporary readers. As quite a few of us discovered what he was doing, we requested to be included in his email distribution list.
As the email recipient list grew, so did encouragements to Wilson to make his work available in more permanent form, which he has now done. Not only did he update the language, he also has tried to identify Spurgeon’s biblical quotes and allusions, as well as other references the great preacher made. Spurgeon generally did not cite sources, perhaps assuming (probably correctly) a certain degree of biblical literacy and familiarity with hymns.
Continue readingThe Lasting Benefits of Overture 2: Part 2: History — How Do We Recognize Abuse?
Guest author of this blog is Glenn Jerrell, retired OPC pastor. Recently he posted on The Aquila Report “The Lasting Benefits of Overture 2: Part 1: The Overture Itself.” Here is the second part of his reflections.
A story is told about Dr. Edmund P. Clowney in a faculty discussion at Westminster Theological Seminary. They were weighing the pros and cons of establishing a seminary on the west coast. Dr. Clowney presented reasons to go forward with a new seminary. No one presented reasons why they shouldn’t. As a faithful presbyterian he wanted to hear the other side, but there was silence. What did he do? He summarized the reasons why they should not begin a new seminary. In giving the “other side” he convinced them, at that point in time, not to propose a new faculty on the west coast.
Dr. Clowney’s urge for both sides to be heard is so typical of the OPC. Concerns raised about Overture 2 at the recent OPC General Assembly were heard and were instructive. Brothers in the faith were genuinely divided over issues that bring into focus pastoral care on all levels of the church. If the OPC is anything, it is about Christ’s undershepherds serving Christ and his people by being willing to bring even painful issues to the assemblies of the church. To put it casually we are willing to “hash it out, while listening and hearing each other.” That hashing it out can range from painful, to tedious, all the way to gracious and edifying. So, when substantive concerns are raised, we take them seriously, we engage with each other, we don’t bury the subject/issue no matter where our opinions fall in the spectrum of things. We help each other in discussions.
Continue readingSubmission: What Does Ephesians 5 Tell Us?
Who should submit to whom? That question seems to be a pressing one for some. Recently in reviewing It’s Good To Be a Man, I took issue with the position of the book on submission. The authors state their position (from which I dissented) that “All leadership, whether in the Old or the New Testament, whether civil or domestic or ecclesiastical, is exclusively male.” (page 9 in the Kindle edition)
A commentator on the review questioned my use of Ephesians 5:
I’ve seen you bring up that Ephesians 5 proof text to back up your logic multiple times. Unfortunately, you use that text extremely vaguely. What does that verse mean? Are you implying that husbands are to submit to their wives as well? If that is the case, then interestingly enough, the interpretation you use is the same one that egalitarians use. Hmmm might not be the best company to be lodging with theologically, don’t ya think? (July 23, 2022, comment by Dd)
Ephesians 5:21 reads “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”(NIV). Paul did not insert paragraph and section breaks in his original letter, but for our convenience the NIV editors placed a section break entitled “Instructions for Christian Households” before verse 21. They make that verse a separate paragraph, and then the following paired instructions for wives and husbands, children and fathers, and slaves and masters are each separated into a distinct paragraph. The ESV, on the other hand, puts a section break between Verse 21 and verse 22. Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, is making connections which our editorial breaks can obscure. Greek tends to use longer, more complex sentences than we do in English, and there can be good reason for a translation to separate a lengthy sentence into several for ease in reading. For instance, Ephesians 1:3–14 is all one sentence in Greek — trying to diagram (does anyone still diagram sentences?) it in Greek or English is a challenge!
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