{"id":41,"date":"2012-08-10T10:59:37","date_gmt":"2012-08-10T17:59:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/wordpress\/?page_id=41"},"modified":"2013-03-01T12:35:53","modified_gmt":"2013-03-01T19:35:53","slug":"little-one-lost","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/?page_id=41","title":{"rendered":"Little One Lost"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Note:\u00a0<\/strong>A revised version of this review can be found here<\/a>\u00a0as pp. 12-13 of the March 2013<\/a>\u00a0issue of New Horizons.<\/a>\u00a0<\/i>Also see the excellent review by Gordon H. Cook in the March 2013 issue<\/a> of\u00a0Ordained Servant.<\/em><\/p>\n

jwm<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Little One Lost: Living with Early Infant Loss<\/em>, by Glenda Mathes, 2012, Reformed Fellowship, Inc., 144 pages, $10.00.<\/p>\n

\u201cA biblical mindset<\/em> is planted in God\u2019s Word, nurtured by continual prayer, and pruned by God\u2019s providence. It is also progressively renewed by God\u2019s Word (Rom. 12:2) and re-formed to Christ\u2019s image (2 Cor. 3:18)\u201d (p. 12, emphasis original). Glenda Mathes summarizes her perspective in those words from the preface of this greatly needed and most helpful book. An author, editor, poet, and blogger, she skillfully knits her story and those of others together with clear explanations of passages of Scripture that bear on the grief involved in the loss of an infant.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe unfulfilled anticipation of new life lost before birth\u2014like a tender bud pinched by an early frost\u2014is what makes the loss of a pre-term infant so piercing. Yet society often minimizes such loss. We live in an abortion-accepting society that has hardened its collective heart to the loss of prenatal life\u201d she writes. However, she continues: \u201cEven the loss of the littlest one is the loss of a real person. Each child is unique, created in God\u2019s image. Such a loss rips a hole in the parent\u2019s heart and leaves an aching void\u201d (p. 17).<\/p>\n

The third chapter, \u201cKnit Together\u201d (knitting is a theme that runs through the book), gives a superb overview of the way in which the Bible treats even little ones, before and after birth, as valuable persons, made in his image. The book moves on to give the stories (first names only) of grief surrounding the loss of little ones. Each story is wrapped in material unfolding the hope and comfort that the Scriptures give.<\/p>\n

The 27 short chapters (three to five pages each) move quickly (I read the entire book the evening I received my copy), but they flow much more deeply than a casual glance reveals. Mrs. Mathes deals, as one would expect, with difficult decisions and with the mother\u2019s grief. But then she includes the grief of the father and of other children in the family, as well as the church and the broader community. She provides helpful suggestions of what not to say to a grieving parent, as well as advice on what and how to speak comfort and to provide it in concrete ways. She deals frankly and gently with grief that is compounded by abuse or by sinful actions of the part of parents, but always points to the forgiveness that Christ offers. She touches on childlessness and adoption.<\/p>\n

\u201cCovenantal Comfort\u201d is summarized in Chapter 15, but also underlies the whole book. The excellent chapter on \u201cConfessional Comfort\u201d might have been strengthened by at least a footnote indicating that the Westminster Confession of Faith and Catechisms share a similar view of God\u2019s covenantal faithfulness as do the Three Forms of Unity, the confessions in Mrs. Mathes\u2019 church, the comfort of which she beautifully unfolds.<\/p>\n

The book recognizes the complex natures of grief and guilt. Mrs. Mathes warns against secular counseling which \u201cwill fail to bring the comfort of God\u2019s forgiveness into the equation\u201d (p. 105). She appropriately cautions against some forms of Christian counseling which may be \u201ctoo simplistic, blaming personal sin for every emotional problem and urging the sufferer to search for a specific sin at the root of each problem\u201d (p. 105). She keeps pointing the reader to the comprehensive forgiveness found in Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n

The only place I found myself differing from the book was an emphasis in the difficult and very real problem of a sufferer\u2019s, even a Christian sufferer\u2019s, anger towards God. I share the author\u2019s concern, expressed through the words of a Christian counselor whom she quotes, that Christians deal gently and patiently with such sufferers. I am thankful to share in the goal of helping grieving persons \u201ccome to a place where they see God\u2019s providence, accept it, and still believe that it is good\u201d (p. 119), but question, however, whether the expression in the same paragraph \u201cthat God is big enough to handle their anger\u201d is fully biblical or pastorally helpful.<\/p>\n

Do not let this one reservation deter you from buying and using the book. Every pastor ought to have a copy. Elders and deacons, as they come alongside grieving members, ought to read the book. Purchase a copy for your church library, and encourage members to read it. Keep copies on hand to give to grieving parents to read when they get to the point of being ready to do so. The local hospital at which I do some chaplaincy work does well in supporting families dealing with perinatal loss. I purchased a copy of Little One Lost<\/em> to add to the collection of books on the topic.<\/p>\n

The target readership of this book is apparently the covenant community. Mrs. Mathes, however, points so clearly to Christ as the source of comfort that this sensitively written book may be an appropriate gift to a griever who does not yet know the Lord. \u201cNo matter how traumatic the loss, no matter how much or how little it is grieved, believers have hope of a glorious future. We look to that future with hope that is firmly based on God\u2019s sure promises for a future free from pain and sorrow. Our future existence will not be as vague spirits floating in the clouds. When Christ returns, we\u2014and our covenant children\u2014will be reunited with our original bodies, glorified in a way far beyond our imaginings. God the Father sent His Son to atone for all our sins. He sends His Spirit to comfort us in our sorrows. . . . He holds before us the hope of an existence free from grief and full of joy\u201d (pp. 134-135).<\/p>\n

The book may be ordered from:
\nReformed Fellowship, Inc.
\n3500 Danube Dr. SW
\nGrand Rapids, MI 49418<\/p>\n

Or online: reformedfellowship.net<\/a> or from amazon.com<\/a><\/p>\n

originally written July 23, 2012<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note:\u00a0A revised version of this review can be found here\u00a0as pp. 12-13 of the March 2013\u00a0issue of New Horizons.\u00a0Also see the excellent review by Gordon H. Cook in the March 2013 issue of\u00a0Ordained Servant. jwm   Little One Lost: Living … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":39,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-41","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/41","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/41\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":44,"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/41\/revisions\/44"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mahaffynet.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}